Numismatic jokes ô_Ô

Just thought of this joke:

The Russians started to wire money 400 years before anyone else!

Yes but they were ko-pay (k)

If we go on like this, t-ruble is looming ahead.

what a novodel idea!

Franc ly it sound great to me

If you PUTIN your piggy bank enough kopecks, they'll turn into rubles.

You guys are stupid your jokes are all so coiny.

But I like to coin jokes.

You've heard about the overworked mint workers who went on strike? They complained they were making too much money.

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​But I like to coin jokes.
​

​I hope you didn’t miss my coin pun? It’s so coiny you might have thought I was serious ....

Oh ─ I thought of my pun because of yours!

If you guys don't change direction soon this thread will stop making cents.

I hope we dont get ill from all the cheesy puns. If someone got sick I camembert it.

Eur-all better stop these jokes ... cos I don’t give a dime about humour.

I never metacais I didn't like! (met uh cash)

Everyone is entitled to their two cents' worth. I'm not gonna CHANGE my opinion on this.

Just thought of another joke:

"I'm looking for high grade Hungarian coins but all I can find are fillers."



We need the laughing-to-tears emoji.

Must say I'm quite impressed so far with everyone's puns and jokes.

Today I ran(d) to school because I ate 1 pound of cereals.

I don't know if I can make it today, I have to shek el schedule.

I'm gonna quote my favourite movie: "Livre and let lev!"

I wanted to join the running team, but I couldn't kope(k).

I was forced to compete in a charming competition. When it was my turn I panicked and said "Jiao bella!" In the end it was between me and Yuán - and I won!

Okay, now I'll have to pay attention to class.

Did you see the third round of the WC Qualifiers?

South Korea won.

Let's go to the pub att five o'clock and drink a pint of birr!

Mom: Dinar is ready! I prepared som of your favorite food.
Son: Leave me a-leone! I will eat taka-way instead.

Citeer: "druzhynets"​Let's go to the pub att five o'clock and drink a pint of birr!

yay, let's!
*happy birrthday to you, happy birrthdy to you....*

America's got talant? Now that's something to takabout!

How to stay out of truble: Be real, and keep shilling.

Citeer: "ngdawa"​

Citeer: "druzhynets"​Let's go to the pub att five o'clock and drink a pint of birr!

​yay, let's!
​*happy birrthday to you, happy birrthdy to you....*

​Thanks, mate! Indeed I had a birthday few days ago

I getting in a red mist , should I say Nu mist about these corny jokes

I've had it up to here with these stupid jokes; and francly they're not funny. Mark my words!

Coin Collecting is the only hobby that when you are broke you still have money.

Someone should keep a note of all the currency mentioned in this witty repartee. I d do it myself , but I haven’t got a ‘lire’ time.

I wanted to be on Forbes' list of richest billionaires, but they said the Zimbabwean dollar doesn't count.

Not working, computer is. Press esc u do.

I’m willing to Baht that you guys are all nerds!

Citeer: "redsmithstudios"​I’m willing to Baht that you guys are all nerds!

​Which reminds me... If your wife is from India and her last name is Baht (say, Indira Baht) and your name is Mann (say, Stephen Mann) I do not recommend you name you son or daughter Robin Baht Mann.

To build on my Zimbabwean dollar joke, a wife to her husband:

“Dear, I’m not familiar yet with American money and I want to buy this chocolate bar. How much is US $1.55 in our Zimbabwean dollars?”

“Wait hunn, I have an app for that… $1.55 you say? … It’s 619,205,277,081,531,040,449.17 Zimbabw… Wait, it’s now 641,488,919,634,578,677,510.87 Zim… No, wait, it’s now 678,550,907 … … …

Alright guys, let's see how many currencies you can find in this short story. Please note that the pronounciation might've been a little "modified".

On my birthday, me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at the bar called Larry, whose cologne was of the more expensive brands, started to chat with us about some good foods. "For a successful dinner, it's important to get salt from the sea."
I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like jacket with a medical symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
"Do you row?", I asked. "You look like a real athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about?", he mumbled. "If you want trouble I will use you to swipe the floor in the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him alone and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out from a potential fight.
My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD with a big drum on the cover.
"I wanna be frank with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer of this 'peace out' stuff".
They laughed and said "So money is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball bat", they said.
I know that was a joke, since I have no talent in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's collection of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling.

Citeer: "ngdawa"​Alright guys, let's see how many currencies you can find in this short story. Please note that the pronounciation might've been a little "modified".
​
​On my birthday, me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at the bar called Larry, whose cologne was of the more expensive brands, started to chat with us about some good foods. "For a successful dinner, it's important to get salt from the sea."
​I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like jacket with a medical symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
​"Do you row?", I asked. "You look like a real athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about?", he mumbled. "If you want trouble I will use you to swipe the floor in the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him alone and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out from a potential fight.
​My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD with a big drum on the cover.
​"I wanna be frank with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer of this 'peace out' stuff".
​They laughed and said "So money is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball bat", they said.
​I know that was a joke, since I have no talent in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's collection of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling.

On my bir(r)thday, me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at the bar called Larry (Georgian Lari), whose cologne was of the more expensive brands, started to chat with us about some good foods. "For a successful dinner (dinar), it's important to get salt (Peruvian Sol?) from the sea."
I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like jacket with a medical (Mozambique Metical) symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
"Do you row (euro)?", I asked. "You look like a real athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about?", he mumbled. "If you want trouble I will use you to swipe the floor in (florin) the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him al(e)one and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out from a potential fight.
My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD with a big drum on the cover.
"I wanna be frank(c) with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer of this 'peace (pice) out' stuff".
They laughed and said "So money is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball ba(h)t", they said.
I know that was a joke, since I have no talent in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's collection of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling.

Citeer: "SquareRootLolly"​

Citeer: "ngdawa"​Alright guys, let's see how many currencies you can find in this short story. Please note that the pronounciation might've been a little "modified".
​​
​​On my birthday, me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at the bar called Larry, whose cologne was of the more expensive brands, started to chat with us about some good foods. "For a successful dinner, it's important to get salt from the sea."
​​I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like jacket with a medical symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
​​"Do you row?", I asked. "You look like a real athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about?", he mumbled. "If you want trouble I will use you to swipe the floor in the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him alone and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out from a potential fight.
​​My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD with a big drum on the cover.
​​"I wanna be frank with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer of this 'peace out' stuff".
​​They laughed and said "So money is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball bat", they said.
​​I know that was a joke, since I have no talent in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's collection of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling.

​On my bir(r)thday, me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at the bar called Larry (Georgian Lari), whose cologne was of the more expensive brands, started to chat with us about some good foods. "For a successful dinner (dinar), it's important to get salt (Peruvian Sol?) from the sea."
​I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like jacket with a medical (Mozambique Metical) symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
​"Do you row (euro)?", I asked. "You look like a real athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about?", he mumbled. "If you want trouble I will use you to swipe the floor in (florin) the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him al(e)one and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out from a potential fight.
​My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD with a big drum on the cover.
​"I wanna be frank(c) with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer of this 'peace (pice) out' stuff".
​They laughed and said "So money is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball ba(h)t", they said.
​I know that was a joke, since I have no talent in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's collection of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling.

​that was impressingly fast, mate! i can reveal that there are 29 (or 30 since you found one I didn't realise about ) currencies.
btw, the peruvian sol is incorrect..it's much more clever than that

Wow! That was fast!

Oh! The town of Cuyama (California) was going bankrupt until they transferred their accountant to the road signs department:

Citeer: "ngdawa"​​​that was impressingly fast, mate! i can reveal that there are 29 (or 30 since you found one I didn't realise about ) currencies.

​Oh, I was thinking "drum" was "dirham"!

For Fukian sake...has someone won yet? (won)

And I'm sure you could fit the Hungarian filler somewhere in the story.

So money doesn't matter
Somoni doesn't matter

Citeer: "SquareRootLolly"​So money doesn't matter
​Somoni doesn't matter

​

"was of the more expensive brands"

"since I have no talent in baseball"

My turn. Here's a short story! Let me count this: There are 30 currencies hidden.

It was 10 p.m. on the night and it was dark. My lack of confidence sent me chilling, and I still haven't had dinner yet. So, I decided to take the short path back home. There were some dangers, so many in fact, but I didn't care. I walked into the mysterious cave.

Magic! A bear was pouring syrup in between the two loaves of bread, made of honey - I glanced around. It was an animal kingdom. A racoon argued in the markets on why it had to pay so much for the cup of beer. To the left, there was a skunk - Ronald - who got in trouble. The animals reported him for intentionally stealing a lot - in fact, he stole an entire pound of goods - so it was intolerable. "You rogue! You troublesome liar!" blamed one of the witnesses. Fearfully, the skunk ran away.

The animals chased after it, but Ronald was still superceding them. "The warning bell! Ring it! Keep track of the skunk!" As the citizens sprung ultra mercurially to Ronald's location, the skunk entered his own home - where he lives. Inside and outside the door, they were playing mind tricks - who opens the door first? Who is more prepared?

Eventually, the animals broke in, handcuffed it with a clamp, eradicated its house, and took Ronald to the prison. "You cannot deny, Ronald, for what you have done," the judge said. "Vandal are not tolerated here." Ronald mumbled, "I.. did not... not mean it..." and he was thrown into the prison.

All was miraculous until I woke up from my dream.

Also check this out: https://en.numista.com/forum/topic64285.html

"... pouring syrup in between ..." → rupee

"... argued in the markets ..." → mark

"... who got in trouble ..." → ruble

"Vandal are not tolerated here." → dollar + lira

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​"was of the more expensive brands"

​hah! didn't thinknof that one. nicely spotted!

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​"... pouring syrup in between ..." → rupee
​
​"... argued in the markets ..." → mark
​
​"... who got in trouble ..." → ruble
​
​"Vandal are not tolerated here." → dollar + lira

​there are much more!

Citeer: "SquareRootLolly"​My turn. Here's a short story! Let me count this: There are 30 currencies hidden.
​
​It was 10 p.m. on the night and it was dark. My lack of confidence sent me chilling, and I still haven't had dinner yet. So, I decided to take the short path back home. There were some dangers, so many in fact, but I didn't care. I walked into the mysterious cave.
​
​Magic! A bear was pouring syrup in between the two loaves of bread, made of honey - I glanced around. It was an animal kingdom. A racoon argued in the markets on why it had to pay so much for the cup of beer. To the left, there was a skunk - Ronald - who got in trouble. The animals reported him for intentionally stealing a lot - in fact, he stole an entire pound of goods - so it was intolerable. "You rogue! You troublesome liar!" blamed one of the witnesses. Fearfully, the skunk ran away.
​
​The animals chased after it, but Ronald was still superceding them. "The warning bell! Ring it! Keep track of the skunk!" As the citizens sprung ultra mercurially to Ronald's location, the skunk entered his own home - where he lives. Inside and outside the door, they were playing mind tricks - who opens the door first? Who is more prepared?
​
​Eventually, the animals broke in, handcuffed it with a clamp, eradicated its house, and took Ronald to the prison. "You cannot deny, Ronald, for what you have done," the judge said. "Vandal are not tolerated here." Ronald mumbled, "I.. did not... not mean it..." and he was thrown into the prison.
​
​All was miraculous until I woke up from my dream.

​It was 10 p.m. on the night and it was dark. My lack of confidence sent me chilling, and I still haven't had dinner yet. So, I decided to take the short path back home. There were some dangers, so many in fact, but I didn't care. I walked into the mysterious cave.

Magic! A bear was pouring syrup in between the two loaves of bread, made of honey - I glanced around. It was an animal kingdom. A racoon argued in the markets on why it had to pay so much for the cup of beer. To the left, there was a skunk - Ronald - who got in trouble. The animals reported him for intentionally stealing a lot - in fact, he stole an entire pound of goods - so it was intolerable. "You rogue! You trouble|some liar!" blamed one of the witnesses. Fearfully, the skunk ran away.

The animals chased after it, but Ronald was still superceding them. "The warning bell! Ring it! Keep track of the skunk!" As the citizens sprung ultra mercurially to Ronald's location, the skunk entered his own home - where he lives. Inside and outside the door, they were playing mind tricks - who opens the door first? Who is more prepared?

Eventually, the animals broke in, handcuffed it with a clamp, eradicated its house, and took Ronald to the prison. "You cannot deny, Ronald, for what you have done," the judge said. "Vandal are not tolerated here." Ronald mumbled, "I.. did not... not mean it..." and he was thrown into the prison.

All was miraculous until I woke up from my dream.


Well, my wife wants me to quit now, so I'd better listen to her..

1 Knock, knock.
-who's there?
Anon
-Anon who?
The great unknown.
-Couldn't you ring it instead of knocking?

Malaysian ringgit.


2 I would rather do skipping every morning.

Laotian kip.

3 A king's krone.

Danish krone.

4 For international peace, the UN was established.

Hungarian Forint

5 Lit as have some tea.

Lithuanian litas.

Wow! Well done ngdawa.

Others were really obscure.

It was 10 p.m. on the night and it was dark. My lack (lek) of confidence sent (cent) me chilling (shilling), and I still haven't had dinner (dinar) yet. So, I decided to take the short path back home. There were some (som) dangers, so many (somoni) in fact, but I didn't care. I walked into the mysterious cave.

Magic! A bear was pouring syrup i (rupee) n between the two loaves of bread, made of honey (afghani) - I glanced around. It was an animal kingdom. A racoon a (kuna) rgued in the markets on why it had to pay so (peso) much for the cup of beer (birr). To the left, there was a skunk – Rona (krona) ld - who got in trouble. The animals reported him for intentionally stealing a lot – i (loti) n fact, he stole an entire pound of goods - so it was intolerable. "You ro (euro) gue! You troublesome liar!" blamed one of the witnesses. Fearfully, the skunk ran(d) away.

The animals chased after it, but Ronald was still superceding them. "The warning bell! Ring it! Keep (kip) track of the skunk!" As the citizens sprung ultra m (ngultrum) ercurially to Ronald's location, the skunk entered his own home - where he live (livre/lev)s. Inside and outside the door, they were playin (yen) g mind tricks - who opens the door first? Who is more prepared?

Eventually, the animals broke in, handcuffed it with a clamp, era (lempira) dicated its house, and took Ronald to the prison. "You cannot deny, Ro (naira) nald, for what you have done," the judge said. "Vandal are (dollar) not tolerated here." Ronald mumbled, "I.. did not... not mean it (manat)..." and he was thrown into the prison.

All was miraculous until I woke up from my dream (dram).

Haha! Seems like I found some you didn't and yoy had some that I couldn't find.

Ok, here's my answers:

On my birthday (birr), me and my mates went out for a drink. The man at (manat) the bar called Larry (lari), whose cologne (colón) was of the more expensive brands (rand), started to chat (kyat, actually pronounced like "chat") with us about some (som/so'm) good (gourde, haiti creole: goud) foods. "For a successful dinner (dinar), it's important to get salt (quetzl) from the sea."
I noticed he had a SWAT-y-like (złoty, Ł is pronounced like 'W') jacket with a medical (metical) symbol on the left sleeve. His arms were very muscular.
"Do you row?" (euro), I asked. "You look like a real (real/riel/rial) athlete", I continued. "What do you talk about? (taka)", he mumbled. "If you want trouble (rouble/rule) I will use you to swipe the floor in (florin) the men's room", he said aggressively. I left him alone (leone) and went back to my mates. I know when to pull out (pula) from a potential fight.
My mates laughed at me and gave me a CD (cedi, and yes, that's how it's pronounced) with a big drum (dram) on the cover.
"I wanna be frank (franc/frank) with you guy", I said. "I'm not a believer (bolivar) of this 'peace out' (piso) stuff".
They laughed and said "So money (somoni) is no issue then?". "Maybe we can return it and get you a baseball bat", (baht) they said.
I know that was a joke, since I have no talent (tala) in baseball at all. So I said: "If I can use a bat from Ewan's (yuan) collection (lek) of baseball stuff." The rest of the night we spent in the pub just chilling (shilling).

A father is showing his coin collection to his son:

─ Wow! Dad, the Hudson's Bay Company had 10 MegaBytes tokens back then?
─ No, Alex, those are 10 Made Beavers.

When your Eclipse has the different flavour than the one written on the package...

Guess that is a mint error

Is there anything special about CI084516?



Why do people tell me to check my cereal numbers?

How do you know when a coin dealer has sold his house?

The sales price is written on the garage door in magic marker, with a big circle around it.

How do you know when a coin dealer has gone on vacation?

A bed sheet is draped over the roof, and two folding chairs are laid on top of it.

Citeer: "halfdisme"​How do you know when a coin dealer has gone on vacation?
​
​A bed sheet is draped over the roof, and two folding chairs are laid on top of it.

​Mmmhh ... I'm not sure I get this one.

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​

Citeer: "halfdisme"​How do you know when a coin dealer has gone on vacation?
​​
​​A bed sheet is draped over the roof, and two folding chairs are laid on top of it.

​​Mmmhh ... I'm not sure I get this one.

​i didn't get any of them..

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​

Citeer: "halfdisme"​How do you know when a coin dealer has gone on vacation?
​​
​​A bed sheet is draped over the roof, and two folding chairs are laid on top of it.

​​Mmmhh ... I'm not sure I get this one.

​When an American dealer at a multi-day coin show closes down his table for the night, he puts a cloth/sheet over his cases and lays a folding chair on top of it.
The joke is that he does virtually the same thing to his house when he goes on vacation.

Citeer: "halfdisme"​How do you know when a coin dealer has sold his house?
​
​The sales price is written on the garage door in magic marker, with a big circle around it.

​When an American coin dealer buys a coin (especially at a coin show, with a high volume of transactions), they often write the purchase price on the flip in magic marker, and draw a circle around it.
The joke is that they do virtually the same thing to their house when they sell it.
(At least both jokes are clean.)

Citeer: "Camerinvs"​Is there anything special about CI084516?
​
​
​
​Why do people tell me to check my cereal numbers?
​
​

​B'cause ....... cereal

I had not realized the Spanish currency connection.

Better a rouble in the pocket than a four dozens of kopecks on hand.

Two countries I'd like to visit are Burkini Faso and Neil Zealand.

mornign

I think you should all stop there, you've had your Penny worth.

I think these jokes are terrible.

But that's just my two cents.